2007-11-07

Feeling just a little blue UPDATED....

After seeing my mom this evening I decided to re-read what I had originally posted in this spot....and then delete it.

At the time I had wanted to express how I was feeling but now I realise that they were temporary negative feelings and ones I did not enjoy re-reading. How I felt then is not how I feel now. Sometimes the heart goes on a rampage and we say/write things that may sound okay at the moment, but later, when we remember what was done, we just want to erase that part of the past.
Normally I am not the kind to write negative 'stuff' about family, but today started out rather weird and 'stuff' happened. Although nothing horrific was said about my dear mom, I am not impressed with my blabbing about her past, etc...do forgive me for my loose fingers ( kinda hard to say 'loose lips' because it's all about the typing with these blogs ) and please know that whatever blech feelings I may have in my heart from the things my mom didn't do...the feeling of love for her far outways all the rest ! ---and this is what I intend to concentrate on from now on.

So that is what I have done, the original post that was here is now somewhere in cyberspace heaven, the words drifting apart, breaking up into oblivion.

Now it is time for a good deep sleep :)

3 comments:

Goldbettyboop said...

Tracy how brave of you to open your heart and share your feelings like this, you have my greatest admiration. I wish that I could pour my heart out like this, there are a lot of things that hurt in my life too but to put it down is the hardest thing. I hope that the time you have left with your mum is fulfilling. I send my love to you, and if you ever want to get in touch privately then you can do, I will let you have my e mail address HUGS to you xxxx

Tracy said...

Thank-you so much for your kind comment :) I have been able to push away most of the negativity and am able to now have a few nice 'sit down conversations', even some laughs ( gasp ! ), but every so often I get down and my husband knows.

Well I've changed the music and I hope you too find it more uplifting and fun than the last ditty :)

Goldbettyboop said...

Tracy, what you did was good for you. It enabled you to get it off your chest, then you could look at it in the cold light of dawn and analyse what you had written. So it was not a mistake to let your fingers do the talking because it has enabled you to move on - may you go from strength to strength.

xxxx hugs to you xxxx
Dawn