2009-04-14

Posted some very important letters today...

No fun or fancy pictures today. I don't know if I could even create art right now, my insides are quite shaky.

A few days ago I typed out a 7 page letter to my birth-mother, or at least, to two of her family members.
One of them lived in her childhood home but it has recently gone on the market and this person has moved, tho not too far away.
So I printed out 2 letters along with some photos of my parents and me, included the birth registration sheet and an advert for their parents 50th anniversary.
They were mailed early this afternoon and could be in their hands by tomorrow !!! Oh just typing that got me all shaky again lol !

It was 42 years ago on March 14th. 1967 when I was born and then adopted out by December.
My original name was Virginia Grove R. ( keeping back last name for their privacy, unless they say it's okay to post ).

I've had nothing but positive thoughts for the birth parents --but it did take me a long time to get used to saying birth 'mom' and birth 'dad', because I only had one mom and dad, the ones who adopted me. I'm sure you can understand that.

For years i imagined them walking the streets of Victoria, maybe living nearby, maybe even passing them. Then I found out my birthfather was raised in Ottawa. Well, I admit it kinda took the wind from my sails, all these years thinking he was here :P But there's still the birthmom. It scares me a bit that I've had no luck finding much of anything about her, but I'll keep thinking good thoughts.

Over the years there have been things that would make me think of them, especially the birth mom. Like: why do I feel sad/strange when I hear a certain Doors song ? Why do I love really windy days ? Why do I prefer more ethnic type foods ( sushi, sashimi, curries, roti, etc...) ? Why do I have such a deep love for ravens ? Why do I think that people who smoke pot are failing themselves instead of using the power of their brain ?
Of course it could all just be me and how my eyes, ears, heart and soul have ingested life...but maybe there might be a connection ? Maybe, when I was in the womb, I heard things, felt things ?
I am quietly hoping some of those questions will be answered. Then again, maybe her family won't want anything to do with me at all ? That would be sad.

If there's a possibility that one of the family members is reading this, then please know this: I keep to myself a lot, it just came naturally growing up an only child. I'm not much of a letter writer, nor do I make many phone calls ( just ask my birthfather ha ! ). So if you have any concerns about me 'bothering' you, you have no fear at all :) But, if we do meet then be prepared for lots of questions ! It's to be expected ---and I'm normally a quiet person too !
I just have these likes and dislikes, little things, little quirks, are they all mine or is there a connection ? Do I do something that maybe the grandparents did ? I drives me a little crazy not knowing, like having a see through wall built. You know they're there but you can't talk with them and can't break through the wall.

Okay, enough of my pining. It's time to see our son home from school and off to do some errands.

I'll keep y'all posted !! Think happy positive thoughts please :)♥♥♥

1 comments:

Nancy said...

Sending you LOTS of positive thoughts! Your letters took a lot of courage & I hope you receive nothing but good from them.