New wheels, feeling better and adoption....

Hi all ! Thought I'd take a minute to write a quick update.

I'm not one for bragging but I just had to show you my "NEW CAR !" --said with a Price is Right vocie :)
Now I was not going for a Ford or the gray color at first, and certainly not leather seating either. About a month ago I began looking for a new vehicle because my old one was having 'falling apart' issues ( '94 Pontiac Firefly ). When my dear mom passed I now had the opportunity to get a new vehicle ---I've been a stay-home-mom for 12 years and with all one income families there are sacrifices, it's been tight living for awhile.
I set my $$ limit and at first was really hoping to purchase a Honda Element, but there were no used ones and the brand new ones were a bit too much. So I moved onto the Hyundai Santa Fes and Tucsons ---nope. Too old or, again, too pricey. Sigh. So I switched to looking for a sport car and came across the Mazda 3 Sedan. Oooh very nice, and they had such a lovely color too 'Phantom Mica Purple'. I was hooked ! Called the dealership, sorry no purple, only one left in Calgary Alberta though but will cost another $1,000. No thanks. Sigh. Gave another week to think about, my husband, son and I visited the dealership on a Sunday and I found a deep gunmetal gray one. Okay, the color isn't that bad really, looks kinda sharp. Get excited again, go home and, again, look online at the Mazda site. I also re-check other sites for any safety issues. Oh what's this ? Apparantly the Mazda 3 is a target for thieves, and if you kick the door a certain way..you can dislodge the lock. How nice. It said that Mazda fixed the problem but there are still some twits going around and kicking the doors, leaving some lovely dents. Gee thanks, now I want one even more !
Well that sucked big time :( What do I look for now ? Sigh. Back online, oh look, how about a Dodge Caliber ? Head down to dealership and test one, yuck, too wide, feel like I'm going to hit the person in the next lane. Sigh. But wait, a black sporty looking car drives in. It's for sale, a 2006 Ford Focus with leather seating all the power bells and whistles. I'm just excited it has cd player !! I drive it, like it and keep overnight. That evening i decide to check out the Ford dealership and look at their '08s for comparison. A new one is only $2,000 more. The dealer shows me an '07, same as the '06 but gray and almost $3,000 LESS ! I think I asked the poor guy at least 6 times if there was anything wrong with it lol ! Nothing wrong, just the black one is from another dealership and they can up their prices. Next day i return the black one and get the gray one woohoo !

My old Pontiac was wonderful but it was getting all shaky and wobbly, the brakes had a weird sound, one of the speakers had fallen out, the rubber around the windows was all dried up, most of my cassettes were played out and sounding scary, etc...I guess this new vehicle is good timing then.

I'll admit that I have thought of changing the color ;) Of course I'd get a professional paint job ! Would love a deep purple with black trim. Who knows, will give it some time, it's nice as it is.

I need to give my mom a big THANK-YOU. If it wasn't for her then I'd still be in the Firefly, wondering when we could afford a newer vehicle. I hope, in her way, she can see it and how wonderfully it handles and sounds. It would have been so nice if i could have purchased it while she was alive as I'm sure she would have enjoyed a ride. Hee-hee, I could have blasted her fav. singer too, Daniel O'Donell.
Thanks again mom :)

On Monday I received a call from Alice, a lady who runs a free adoption site online. You can register your birthdate, etc...which I did a few years back and forgot about. So she calls to tell me that my 'supposed' birth father is in town visiting his mom. My body gets the shakes and I get the same feeling when heading to the dentist. I also have a sister ( holy moly ! ). I'm an only child so the thought of another sibling after 41 years is kinda weird ( but a good weird ). Alice and I have a pleasant conversation and I mention my blog to her, she can mention it to the birth father and he can check it out. Next day i get another call from Alice, they were quite happy with the blog ( and made me feel even weirder ) and I should call her as she has a question to ask me. Okay, take a deep breath and....don't call back. I was in the middle of purchasing the car and the rest of the day was full of errands, but Alice is in the back of my mind. Now Wednesday comes, I need to call Alice. More errands, the day goes by. So I will call her Thursday. My feet want to turn cold but what a disappointment that would be, to grow old with no idea at all who these people were/are. I am scared of course, but aren't most people when it comes to something this big and never done before ?

I wonder if they are reading this now ? If you are then know that I am not a scary person ( my thick long hair might be though ha-ha ! ). I prefer to live life with a smile, a laugh and try to keep a youthful attitude. My parents were wonderful people but my dear mom had a habit of telling half truths, always worried about me and was a workaholic. Because of this I grew to resent lying big time and now find that my trust for others isn't as strong as I'd like it to be. So forgive me for wondering if you're expecting something of me, I just don't know you and, of course, you don't know me. We may not be monetarily rich but we're rich with love. My parents enjoyed life but for my mom it was also very hard which, in turn, made her a bit hard too. From her I learned that overworking yourself meant getting sick and mad, which is something no little child wants. I also learned that I would much rather laugh and play than be sick. So here I am now, always looking for something to make me laugh, trying to live for today ( because mom would always talk about the past which made me feel that her present wasn't as wonderful --the present that I was living in with her. Of course it wasn't true but that's how it made me feel at the time ). The past is nice and can be fun, especially when digging in the garden and finding bits of old broken china. But then I get all sad and weepy and have to get away, grab a book, listen to some good dance music, get my husband or son to be goofy, anything to bring me back to today. I love graveyards, walking through them and visualising what the people might have looked like, walking around Victoria. Once in awhile I'll drive to Ross Bay Cemetary with lunch and just sit and enjoy the solitude, but after an hour I begin to feel down so have to leave, blaring my music to wash away the feeling.

Oh dear, I'm blabbing away here. It's all the excitement I've had in the last couple of days !

So what else can I tell you about me ( can't help but wonder now if you're reading this ) ?
I LOVE chocolate, salmon sashimi, almost all teas especially chai. Have never smoked or done any drugs ( I don't think taking Tylenol 3s count, I had a migraine for a week after our son was born via caesarian ). Prefer trance, techno, classical and smooth jazz over music with voices. Would prefer to live minimalistically with some good books, a great sound system, a flat tv that can disappear into the ceiling, great chocolate, a good hot big mug of tea and a super comfy couch. Oh, floor to ceiling windows with an ocean view would be a bonus. Hey I can dream too, and who says it won't happen right ?
I'd like to think I'm not vain but i really do not like my tummy ( caesarian ) and would consider a tuck. My hair is quite thick with waves and curls, it really needs a good hairstyle soon. I used to dye it red a lot and may go back to it, include a few streaks here and there. Didn't have a lot of friends in school, kinda shy and tended to lean towards the weirder folks. Snobs and jocks struck me as very boring and petty, I enjoyed the quiet punks instead.
I prefer solitude over noise but I don't mind a crowd every so often. Sometimes we go to a hockey game and I like the excitement of the people.
Used to love going dancing ! Would sometimes go twice a week, almost always chose to drive my friends as i rarely drank anything except water. I just loved to dance and loved the energy from the crowd when a great song came on.
Wanted to be a vet when younger, but the first time I smelled blood I just about fainted. Put me right off :( Have never had a career except as mom, lots of boring jobs on the way and bosses who cared more about their money. Now i create altered art but it's on hold until my parents house is sold.
Enjoy my art, computer games ( especially Room Escape, Point and Click and puzzle games ), blogging and prefer emails over phone calls. Love a good book especially horror or comedy. Love my pyjamas and getting cozy, warm blankets, big pillows. Wish I had better teeth. Not much of a traveller as I do love Victoria, but wouldn't mind visiting England again one day...to see my parents hometowns and visit a few big fields to walk in ( not many here in Victoria at all ). I believe in God but also aliens, reincarnation, etc...Sometimes when I hear a song from the 60's, I wonder if it was one of your favs. ( I do like a few tunes from the Doors and Mamas-Papas ). I love army boots, Doc martins, the boots Neo wears in the Matrix...but don't have any..yet.

WOW ! So much for taking a minute to write a quick update lol !

It's time for me to hit the hay. If you've read to here then I congratulate you :) I tend to write more than I talk too. Why not leave me a comment, you've come this far, I'd love to read your thoughts.

Until next time, have a blessed week. Tracy :)